Guidelines for Handling Temporal Paradox Paperwork
NOTICE: These guidelines exist simultaneously across all timelines. Please ensure you're reading the version relevant to your current temporal plane.
Following several incidents where paperwork filed in the past nullified its own existence, we're implementing new guidelines for handling temporal paradox documentation. Remember: proper form filing prevents timeline collapses.
Required Forms
- Form TP-∞1: Declaration of Temporal Paradox Intent
- Form TP-∞2: Retroactive Event Documentation
- Form TP-∞3: Parallel Timeline Consistency Report
- Form TP-∞4: Paradox Resolution Plan
- Form TP-∞5: Timeline Merger Request
"I once filed a form so efficiently it created a paradox where I never needed to file it in the first place. The resulting paperwork took three years to complete in negative time." - Janet Martinez, Senior Temporal Documentation Specialist
Filing Procedures
- Always file forms in triplicate across three different timelines
- Submit past, present, and future copies simultaneously
- Ensure all temporal stamps are quantum-synchronized
- Include alternate reality reference numbers
- Obtain signatures from all temporal versions of approving managers
Common Mistakes to Avoid
1. Temporal Stamping Errors
- Using linear time dates on non-linear forms
- Forgetting to account for temporal drift
- Signing documents before they exist
- Dating forms with dates that haven't been invented yet
2. Paradox Creation Risks
- Filing future forms in the past
- Cross-referencing documents that haven't been written
- Using obsolete forms that won't exist until next week
- Creating infinite paperwork loops
IMPORTANT: Never file Form TP-∞3 before Form TP-∞1. This creates a documentation paradox that requires Form TP-∞7, which won't be invented until next century.
Required Documentation Tools
- Quantum-Synchronized Date Stamp
- Paradox-Proof Ink (must exist in all timelines simultaneously)
- Timeline-Stable Filing Cabinet
- Temporal Variance Calculator
- Multi-dimensional Stapler
Filing Timeline Management
For optimal paradox prevention, follow this filing schedule:
- Submit initial documentation in the present
- File retroactive copies within 3 business days of the past
- Schedule future filings for next week (but complete them yesterday)
- Allow 5-7 business days for temporal processing (in any direction)
"The key to temporal paperwork is remembering that tomorrow's forms were due yesterday, but you can file them next week as long as you did it this morning." - Time Management Division Memo
Emergency Procedures
If you encounter a paperwork paradox:
- Immediately cease all temporal filing activities
- Contact Temporal Documentation Support (before the incident occurs)
- Fill out Form TP-∞911: Emergency Paradox Resolution Request
- Quarantine all affected documents in a timeline-proof container
- Prepare for a visit from the Paperwork Paradox Prevention Team
Special Considerations
- All correction fluid must be quantum-stabilized
- Paper clips must be certified for cross-temporal use
- Use only paradox-resistant rubber stamps
- Maintain separate files for each timeline version
- Never use temporal shortcuts for deadline extensions
REMINDER: The "File and Forget" approach is strictly prohibited for temporal documentation. Each form must be actively maintained across all relevant timelines until proper paradox resolution is achieved.
Records Retention
Temporal documents must be retained:
- Forever in at least one timeline
- Never in at least two others
- Simultaneously in all dimensions where applicable
- Until before they were created
- For the duration of their own paradox
