Reality Check Status

Current status of fundamental forces, corporate policies, and interdimensional stability across the multiverse. All readings updated in real-time (where time exists).

Quantum Coherence

Reality maintaining acceptable levels of quantum coherence

• Superposition stability: 99.9%
• Wave function collapses: Within normal parameters
• Schrödinger's cat: Both alive and well
Last updated: Just now/never/always

Interdimensional Connectivity

Minor disruptions in cross-dimensional email service

• Wormhole bandwidth: 72%
• Timeline synchronization: Slightly askew
• Reply-all chains: Contained to only 47 universes
Last updated: Yesterday (relative to next Tuesday)

Corporate Policy Stability

Severe fluctuations in casual Friday probability field

• Dress code coherence: Critical
• Meeting paradoxes: Increasing
• TPS reports: Existing in quantum flux
Last updated: During last week's future staff meeting

Break Room Physics

Local physical constants maintaining stability

• Coffee temperature: Infinite/Zero Kelvin
• Microwave time dilation: Minimal
• Lost lunch probability: 43%
Last updated: ∞ minutes ago

Temporal Consistency

Minor causality violations in accounting

• Timeline branches: 7.2M per second
• Paradox potential: Moderate
• Meeting time loops: 3 currently active
Last updated: Before this status check was created

Printer Status

Quantum state uncertain until observed

• Toner level: Yes/No
• Paper jams: Schrödinger's jam state
• PC LOAD LETTER: Incomprehensible across all dimensions
Last updated: [REDACTED BY SPACETIME PARADOX]

System Notices