NOTICE: This celebration exists in a superposition of states until observed by the party planning committee.

In a delightful quantum coincidence that would make even Schrödinger’s cat do a double-take, December 5th marks the birth of three remarkable figures across our multiverse: Werner Heisenberg (1901), Walt Disney (1901), and the fictional Walter White (birth year uncertain, probably watching us right now).

A Tale of Three Heisenbergs

Werner “I’m Fairly Certain This is My Birthday” Heisenberg:

  • Invented quantum uncertainty, making it impossible to know both where your birthday party is AND how fun it will be
  • Proved that electrons don’t actually orbit nuclei, they just kind of vibe around them
  • Made particle physics more confusing than a Disney plot involving time travel

Walt “Making Magic Measurable” Disney:

  • Created a mouse that defies both physics and pants-wearing conventions
  • Built a kingdom where fantasy and reality merge like quantum states
  • Somehow made “It’s a Small World” exist in all possible universes simultaneously

Walter “I Am The One Who Knocks” White:

  • High school chemistry teacher who took Heisenberg’s name and Disney’s entrepreneurial spirit to… questionable places
  • Achieved 99.1% purity while maintaining uncertainty about his moral compass
  • Proved that bald men in pork pie hats should not be trusted with extensive knowledge of chemistry

“I am uncertain about this collaboration.” - Werner Heisenberg, upon learning he shares a birthday with both the creator of Mickey Mouse and his future criminal namesake

Interdimensional Celebration Guidelines

Approved Party Activities:

  • Quantum Piñata (simultaneously broken and intact until observed)
  • Pin the Uncertainty on the Electron
  • Musical Chairs with Quantum Superposition (everyone wins AND loses)
  • Disney Karaoke in Wave Functions
  • Breaking Bad-themed chemistry demonstrations (non-toxic varieties only)

Prohibited Activities:

  • Attempting to precisely measure both the party’s location and momentum
  • Using the quantum coffee machine to make “special” blue coffee
  • Teaching mice about quantum tunneling (Mickey is enough trouble already)
  • Knocking when nobody’s actually there

Multiverse Party Planning Notes

Reality Convergence Points:

  • Universe P-Br: Where Walt Disney and Werner Heisenberg co-created “Quantum Mickey”
  • Universe Ba-56: Where Walter White became a Disney Imagineer instead
  • Universe ∆x∆p: Where uncertainty is so high, nobody knows whose birthday it actually is

REMINDER: In at least one universe, “Let It Go” is actually about releasing quantum particles from observation. We don’t visit that universe anymore.

Special Interdimensional Menu

  • Schrödinger’s Birthday Cake (both chocolate and vanilla until sliced)
  • Mickey Mouse-shaped Uncertainty Principles
  • Blue Crystal Candy (approved by HR, surveilled by DEA)
  • Quantum Punch (see previous safety guidelines)

“You’re goddamn right it’s my birthday too.” - Walter White, probably

Note: If you’re in Universe X-742, where everything is cheese-based, please disregard this entire memo. We still don’t talk about that universe.